With recent
news of teenagers and young adults putting their lives at risk by hiding
pregnancies and doing deliveries without proper healthcare, I think this advice
might come handy. Teenagers in secondary schools and universities find
themselves in these situations, the deed has been done; endangering your life
and that of the baby might not be next right action.
Telling
your parents; remember they are your parents and they love you. Sure, it’s a difficult thing to tell them but
rather than risk your life its best you tell them first. First rule is you can
never tell how they will react…
Learning that
you’re pregnant might leave you confused, scared, or shocked by the news. You’re
thinking your parents will kill you (literally) but of course since they love
you and think you are still a child yourself. No matter how they will receive this
information, it is important you tell them first.
Do your
homework by knowing and understanding your parents' personalities i.e. how they
react to issues; some are more emotional, more easily stressed out, more likely
to get upset or angry, to yell or cry, or express themselves loudly. You also
need to understand that it will be difficult news for them to receive; think
about how their reactions to other situations although you can never guess what
their exact response will be.
Mr. B (name
withheld) is a parent who had been in a similar situation. He said “the day my
girl confirmed to me she was pregnant; I felt my world crumbling around me. I didn’t
even know she had a boyfriend or that she was sleeping with someone. It was her
mother who had been acting strange and sick for days that eventually broke the
news to me, I also immediately became sick. I was calm outside but inside my
body system, a storm was raging and I couldn’t accept the news initially. I ignored
her for days, technically shut her out of my world while I process the news”
This is
not a guaranteed reaction for all parents but some parents can react like this
initially, so prepare yourself for different reactions depending on their temperament.
Explain what happened, talk with them; do not yell or fight their objections as
this might escalate the problem.
Afraid of breaking the news in person? Then you
can write them a letter, explaining what happened, pleading your case and
sharing your decision with them. You could also break the news to one parent
and let them talk to each other about the situation.
Afraid of telling them alone? You could
speak to one of their closest but liberal best friends, an adult they have
their best friend who is also a close friend of the family but who isn’t judgmental
about life issues and situations. They could help in telling your news but
explain yourself including your decision to this best friend. It is also important to speak to the father of your child,
he might provide some backing if you plan to tell your parents in person which you
could also reciprocate for him when he breaks the news to his own parents.
Be aware
that your health and that of the baby is important as babies born to teen
mothers usually tend to have a low birth weight, and other life threatening complications like
anemia, high blood pressure and even fetal death. Seek all necessary advice healthcare
workers, family and friends for advice about how to deal with pregnancy and how
to keep your baby healthy.
It sure
can be a scary situation to be a teenage mother but you have to face the
reality and deal with the situation. A lot of duties and priorities are to be
considered to welcome a wonderful miracle into your life.
